Flaming Iguanas

Because I had started out driving west, I continued to do so automatically. I didn't know where I wanted to go or what my goal was, so I decided that I would see the Pacific Northwest, drive down to San Francisco, and continue south. I'd turn east right before Los Angeles, since nobody does that which means I'd see something new.

Once I got to Washington, I was stunned by the damp beauty all around me. I was driving on highways that were like a tunnel with trees on either side. I soon passed a motorcycle on the side of the road with two women pushing it upright and trying to start it. I pulled over to the side of the road and asked if there was anything I could do.

One of the women, who looked only a few years older than me, was wearing a leather jacket and took off her helmet to whip her hair around. She looked pretty impressive, except that some of her hair got stuck in her mouth and she had to spit several times and use her fingers to get it all out. The other woman looked to be a few decades older, and she was the one who greeted me.

"We're not quite sure what's wrong with it yet. Could you give us a minute?"

As they tinkered with the motorcycle, I noticed them giggling at times and at one point the older one grabbed the leather jacket one's butt. The age difference struck me as strange, but then again, I was a young student who ran off with Jack, a decade my senior. I wasn't one to judge.

Finally, leather jacket came back and asked if I could give them a ride to the nearest mechanic. It turns out their fuel tank was busted, and any new fuel they acquired would just drip, drip, drip out the bottom, which was both "bad for driving and bad for not catching on fire" in leather jacket's words.

It turns out Leather Jacket went by "Tomato," and her girlfriend by "Hodie." On the drive to the mechanic, Tomato and Hodie excitedly told me about their dildo business with cutting-edge designs (but not literally, ow). They were doing a west coast tour to promote their business, trying to get sex shops all over the west coast to sell their wares.

I dropped their motorcycle off at the mechanic, and drove them to Sex n Stuff, a sex toy shop about 10 miles away, for them to make their pitch. As a thank-you, they gave me a glass dildo in the shape of a sexy carrot, as part of their fruit collection. Carrots aren't a fruit, but "veggie dildos didn't sound as sexy" according to Tomato.

I left them to their world of art dildos, and went off on my own adventure down the west coast.