Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Conclusion

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, soaked in my sheets because I am back there on that hot night, running from him. Yes I've been successful. As far as I know, nobody else from the Hill District ended up on the Upper West Side. As far as I know, not many boys like me were able to escape their Pa. As far as I know not many boys like me had someone like Jason help. If it weren't for him I wonder if I would still be a ghost haunting some road beyond some distant mountain range. If it weren't for my luck maybe I would still be sitting on a salty corner in Harlem, dead by a muddy river in South Dakota, or shot by some angry hunter in the woods.

I wandered for a long time. But if I hadn't wandered I'm not sure I would have found the life I did. If I hadn't left that hot night I cannot begin to imagine the life would've led or not led. Now, in my mornings I sit at my syrup-stained kitchen table answering Grace's complicated questions, while I spend my nights arguing over movie plots with a partner who, I hope, adores me. Though I still wake up in the middle of the night, and though my heart still hurts considering those I left behind, I just thank god I decided to wander.

-Corey Baxter (2000)

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